My Awesome World
by jasmin1206
Summary: This completely un awesome world is awful. There are only two things that stop me from killing myself. 1st my awesome bird, Gilbird, who would feed him if I died? 2nd this un awesome world needs someone as awesome as me to awesome the place up. Then a new kid arrives at school, nobody sees him, everyone forgets his name, but I fell in love with him at first sight.
1. Chapter 1

The sun shone bright and sunny but I didn't feel happy, no, I wanted to kill that un awesome fool Feli!

"Damn it! Feli! Give me back my new white shirt!" I chased the boy who seemed to have his eyes permanently shut. "eek! Don't hurt me!" Feliciano flapped a white flag as he ran.

"Luddy! Doitsu! Doitsu! Gilbert's chasing me!"

Feliciano flapped his white flag from behind Ludwig and did that silly idiotic smile and laugh. Ludwig sighed, what had Feli done now? I pointed an accusing finger at Feli

"HE STOLE THE AWESOMENESS'S NEW WHITE SHIRT!"

I glared at Feliciano and Feliciano's laugh faltered and he flapped the flag with renewed energy. "Well Feli probably didn't realise that it was yours so I'll pay for a new one"

"I didn't know it was his ve~ it just looked like good flag material ve~ and the t-shirt looked unused so…" Feliciano continued to babble mindlessly.

Ludwig sighed again and pulled out a 20 euro note and handed it to the awesome me. I glared at Feli and took the money "if he does it again..." I let the threat hang.

Ludwig sighed, he seemed to sigh a lot these days, and looked at Feli "I'll do my best" I walked into the forest next to the boarding school. I didn't feel like going to class. I walked till I came to a clearing. I walked over to a tree and started climbing.

I sat on the highest branch and relaxed in the sun as I pulled out an apple and crunched into it. "tweet tweet" a yellow bird landed on my arm "hey, Gilbird did you come to be in the presence of the awesome Gilbert?" I linked my hands behind my head and closed my eyes.

"tweet! Tweeeeet! Tweet!" I jerked awake and realised that i'd nearly fallen out of the tree. It must have been around noon as I climbed down the tree while Gilbird flew around my head.

I strolled along the grounds and made it in time for my favourite class of the day, art. I walked in and took a seat at the back of the room "okay, we have a new student his name is Matthew"

Matt stood up the front of the room and looked around for a seat he saw one next to me and slid into it "hi! I'm Matt!" I ignored him. Why was this un awesome person talking to someone as completely awesome as me? I started drawing on a piece of paper

"wow! That's good! You're a good drawer!" Once again I ignored him, the bell rung signalling the end of the day and I stood up, I calmly walked out of the door and was met by a flying fist.

I felt a fist crunch into my face and I stumbled back a couple of steps, I had my hand covering my face and blood dripped from it. I wiped the blood away from my mouth and staggered to regain my balance, but, before I had fully regained my balance I felt a fist hit me in the stomach and I slammed into the wall behind me. I felt something dig into my hand and I whimpered.

A needle was sticking out of my hand and it hurt! I looked up to see a young man with an ugly mole on a side of his face standing over me "Mister Roderich that's enough!" a teacher who had been walking by said firmly as he pulled Roderich away from me and led him away.

I felt the pain in my right hand and sunk to the floor on my knees. I let my head flop forward so that my white hair covered my white face and red eyes, I looked at my hand and saw the needle sticking out from it I gritted my teeth and tried to pull it out with little success.

I felt hands close over my hands and I looked up, startled, I saw the new kid, Matthew "are you alright?" he asked as he slid the needle out of my hand "ah!" I gritted my teeth "yeah, the awesomeness is fine" I muttered.

I stood up and walked off and Matt stared after me as students and teachers alike moved out of my way as I walked down the corridor, muttering about red eyes that were unnatural and made me look like a demon.

I stiffened as I heard the whispers but ignored them as I always did. I finally reached the last room in the school, teachers said that because I made people nervous i'd been placed here, but I suspected it was because everyone hated me and didn't want to see me. This just proved how completely un awesome they are.

I walked in and slammed the door I felt tears prick my eyes and I slid down the door till I could wrap my arms around my legs and rest my head on my knees. Dammit! I wasn't a demon! Why does everyone hate the awesome me?

I heard footsteps enter the second last room, the one next to mine, and glanced at the wall as if I could see through that wall to the next room.

Oh, it must be the new kid, what's his name? Matthew? Yeah, Matthew's his name. I let my head flop onto my knees and let quite sobs rack my body until I finally fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I slept through the dinner bell, when I woke it was morning and I was a little sore from sleeping on the floor.

I was starving! I got up and walked to the dining hall there was a moment of silence as I entered the room and I saw that my un awesome little bro Ludwig was sitting at the same table as always with Ludwig, Feliciano, Feliciano's brother Lovino, The new kids brother (apparently) Alfred, Yao, Kiku and Ivan.

I walked to the front of the room to get breakfast and the conversations resumed. I chose yoghurt, salad and a hot chocolate. I walked down to my table at the end of the room and didn't see Roderich approach and shove me.

I fell onto the floor and my breakfast went everywhere I heard laughing from a nearby table which contained all of Roderich's gang which consisted of: Roderich, Arther and Elizaveta. "Better luck next time. You better clean that up" Roderich smirked and strutted to his table.

Dammit! Only the awesome me was allowed to smirk! I felt completely humiliated. I stood up shakily "hey, don't worry about cleaning that up I'll get some of the staff to do it"

The person who spoke winked at me, he was one of my favourite teachers. He taught French his name was Francis and he seemed to be the only one who liked me. Though sometimes I wonder if he has an ulterior motive. Francis walked away to talk to the staff.

I walked to my table and rested my head on the table, i'd missed dinner yesterday and i'd missed breakfast today. I felt my stomach growl.

"Do you want to share mine?"

Matthew slid into the seat opposite me and pushed his breakfast tray into the middle. I stared at him.

"Do you have something wrong with your head?" I asked.

"No, why?"

I kept staring at him "are you feeling okay?" I asked.

Matthew looked a little confused and shook his head "I'm fine" he said so quietly he was hard to hear. I stared at him "don't you think I'm scary? That I'm a demon? That my eyes are a Demon's mark?" I asked completely bewildered by this kid.

"No, I think your eyes are pretty! Besides your stomachs rumbling so if you want to turn my offer down go ahead but it sounds like you need it" He pushed the tray towards me.

I hesitated then divided the food in half giving half to Matt and half to myself. I wolfed my food down and was still hungry, I saw a hand pushing more food at me, I looked up at Matthew and Matthew smiled.

"Eat" he said. I looked at the food and wolfed that down too. I felt happy for the first time in ages as I considered that someone had been nice to me for once.

The bell rung and I headed for French, Tuesday was my favourite day because I had double French with Francis in the first session then I had recess then double art and after lunch I had another art class and then I had P.E.

"do you have French now?" Matt (whisper) asked me as he walked after me "yes" I looked at Matt and saw that his glasses were crooked he gently adjusted them

"So do I!" when we arrived at French we were the first ones there "hey papa!" Matthew smiled at Francis and I stared at them in shock. Father and son?

I guess could see the resemblance between them... They both had wavy blond hair but Matt had amethyst eyes while Francis had dark blue eyes.

Francis ruffled his sons hair "'ow's the second day of school?" he asked fondly "it's great!" Matthew smiled "good then! Go get a seat" I slipped up the back and slid into a seat. Matt slipped into one next to me, soon the class had started and Francis was talking about French culture.

"Is Francis really your dad?" I asked curiously and Matt nodded "yeah, he's the one who got me into this school"

The day was over all too soon and I slipped into my boxers and slid into my bed I closed his eyes and started dreaming.

_It was completely dark in the room and I heard whispers "Demon" "unnatural" "freak" then I heard my ex girlfriend's voice "you're gonna live a life of loneliness nobody likes you, this world hates you" Elizaveta said. I felt hands reach out and grab me then I felt punches and more whispers then it felt like a knife was cutting me open._

Then I woke up and the first things I noticed was Matt's face above me and Gilbird flying around, I also noticed it was dark so it must be sometime in the night. "are you alright? You were crying and I could hear you so I thought you might wanna be woken up"

I stared at Matthew. He looked so cute in boxers...Wait what!? Cute!? I must be sick or something...but the awesome Gilbert was too awesome to get sick...

"Will you be alright?" he asked me. I sat up and drew my knees to my chest, as much as it hurt my awesome pride I didn't think i'd be alright. I remembered everything they'd said to me and couldn't help it, I started crying, awesomely of course.

I felt Matt sit down next to me and hug me, I felt Matt put his head on my shoulder "don't cry it's alright" He hugged me a little closer. I felt my face go hot, of course that was only because Matt felt very warm.

I suddenly wondered if it would feel nice to kiss Birdie...Woah! Hang on there! Kiss him!? Birdie!? I was so confused why did I feel like this!? Was it possible that I cared for Birdie? Wait! Matt! I meant Matt!

"Do you want be to stay with you?" Birdie asked. Matt I meant Matt! I didn't respond, instead I lay down and felt Birdi-MATT lie down next to me. I settled into a dreamless sleep.

I woke the next morning looking into Birdie's (Yes I gave in and I started calling him Birdie) peaceful sleeping face, I stroked his blonde hair and smiled. I gently stroked Birdie's face and considered kissing him but I didn't because Birdie was waking up.

Light amethyst eyes blinked blearily at me Birdie smiled "did you sleep well Gil?" I nodded and stretched. I felt Birdie standing up

"I'll see you in class Gil" Birdie said "okay, Birdie" Birdie exited the room and the day passed in a blur. All too soon I found it was night again. I was afraid of sleeping because of the nightmares, the door opened "Gil?"

Birdie entered the room and lay down next to me and wrapped his arms around my torso we were both asleep in a matter of minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is dedicated to 1walker1 she is my first reviewer and said I needed to keep writing. That review filled me with happiness and I am determined to go on! (LoL I sound like a lunatic) anywho onto the next chappy ^_^**

_"Come on Gilbert! You're no fun!" He pulled me along "fine, I'll skip with you" I said reluctantly and I followed him to our awesome clearing._

_"Tweet tweet" Gilbird flew behind us, occasionally stopping to look at flowers. Gilbird stopped at a lavender bush and broke a piece off in his beak (cuz that's the kind of awesome bird he is), he flew over to Birdie and slipped it behind his ear._

_"woah! What did Gilbird put on me?" Birdie asked as I giggled helplessly "he only put a bit of lavender behind your ear, it makes you even more awesome then you were before!"_

_Gilbird stopped at a poppy bush and picked one with his beak, this one went behind my ear and it was Birdie's turn to giggle "you look cute like that!" Birdie slipped his hand into mine and started skipping_

_"I'm too awesome to be skipping..." I grumbled and walked faster. I couldn't help a smile breaking out on my face as I watched a completely carefree Birdie skipping along just in front of me._

I woke up in Birdie's arms. I'd been having such an awesome dream...Birdie slowly woke up and looked into my eyes. I realised with a start that there were tears in the corner of Birdie's eyes.

"Gil, I had a dream that you said you hated me and then you left me alone. Please don't leave me" Birdie burst into tears and I felt my heart yearn for him.

I put my hand on Birdie's cheek and leant forward and kissed him. My lips pressed against Birdie's and I never wanted to stop. The awesome me somehow managed to pull back though, aware that Birdie probably wouldn't like it and I didn't want to force Birdie into anything.

Birdie stared at me and then he leant forward and placed his hands around my neck, he leant forward and pressed his lips to mine our lips pressed together and neither of us ever wanted to stop.

Birdie's hands crept up into my hair and pulled me closer and my arms wrapped around Birdie's back "Birdie do you want to skip class with the awesome me?" I asked. I felt Birdie smile against his lips "yes, I do" (Of course Birdie couldn't resit the awesome me's charm)

Our lips pressed together again and our bodies melded together. Birdie finally broke the kiss "I better get dressed. Where are we going today?" he asked.

"You'll have to wait and see" I smirked awesomely and Birdie went to get dressed. Soon I was leading Birdie through the forest, Gilbird followed and tweeted occasionally.

Soon we arrived at the clearing and saw a kid curled up on the forest floor, sobbing. I recognized Yao, one of my little bro's friends, I knelt down and put a hand on his shoulder

"Are you alright?" I asked, although it was pretty obvious that Yao wasn't.

"Does physical pain hurt as much as mental pain?" I wasn't expecting that sort of response and for a brief moment I was thrown

"I can't say I know...It depends on the circumstance" I said. Yao stared at me then he curled up into a ball and sobs racked his frame once more.

I realised the kid was asleep, still crying, but asleep. "I suppose we should stay here and keep an eye on him..." I looked up at Birdie and he nodded "you're right, as always Gil."

Yao soon woke, he seemed a little better then before and at least he wasn't crying now. I sat with my back resting against the tree trunk and Birdie was asleep resting his head on my shoulder. Gilbird was perched in my hair, also asleep.

Yao slowly came round and I watched him "I'm going back to school, thanks for staying with me" Yao stood up and walked off "oh, that's alright...I guess..."

"Um, Gil I've got something to tell you..." Birdie shifted nervously from foot to foot and bit his lip slightly "yeah? What is it?" I grabbed Birdie's hands and linked them through my own "um...well..." it then all came out in a rush

"Iforgottotellyouthatimgoingb acktocanadaandiwontbecomingb ack" I laughed "woah! Slow down! Now repeat that slowwwly, okay?" Birdie took a deep breath "I forgot to tell you that I'm going back to Canada and I won't be coming back"

I stared at Birdie "what?" I dropped Birdie's hands and took a step back "if you're not coming back then why come?"

Birdie could hear the accusing tone and lowered his head "I'm leaving today" he murmured "and not coming back?" I felt misery pulse through me how could Birdie do this to me? How could he give me false hope? I turned my back on Birdie and walked off towards the boarding school.

_He sat at his usual table in the hall. He stared at his food and didn't touch it. His usual companion wasn't there. He had left the night before._

Francis sat in his office and stared at the wall. His telephone rung and Francis picked it up "'ello?" he heard Matthew on the other side of the line.

"hey papa! I just missed you a little and so I decided to call!" Francis smiled sadly I think I know who you miss more.

"How's Gil going?" Francis hesitated should he lie or tell the truth? "I'm coming back tomorrow because I like it more down there" as it was the problem was solved for him "oh! Gotta go see you papa!" the line went dead.

Matt finally arrived at the school at around midnight he'd get to see Gil again! He was lucky they'd let him come back here, he saw Francis standing at the door waiting for him.

He got his luggage and ran though the rain and hugged his papa "papa! I haven't seen you in ages!" his papa laughed and ruffled his hair.

"It's good to see you Matthieu"

**And I shall end this chappy there ^_^ Please review. Please enjoy this fan fic. Finally at long last some humour shall come in! What will happen between Gilbert and Birdie? **


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sick, I'm tired and basically I have nothing to do so I'm gonna update this fanfic cuz I'm bored. Thankfully I only have a couple more weeks of school (thank god!). Well onto this chapter! ^_^**

I got settled into my room and shifted from foot to foot anxiously. I wanted to see Gil so much!

Morning. Finally! I ran out of my room and my polar bear followed slowly. Gil! I'd get to see Gil!

I managed to slow my pace down as I approached the dining hall. I walked through and I scanned the room. Gil wasn't there.

I somehow managed to force my breakfast down my throat and I hurried to class. My polar bear had obviously given up following me and retreated to my room.

When I got to class I sat in my old seat. No Gilbert.

Next class. No Gilbert

Next class. No Gilbert.

Somehow I managed to survive until lunch. No Gil. Again.

"Gil. Where are you?" I whispered to myself.

As soon as I had forced my lunch down I went outside to look for him.

I had reached the back of the school and I was behind a water tank when I saw him. The air was heavy with the smell of cigarettes.

I covered my nose and mouth with my arm and tried not to gag. The smell was _awful_! I saw he was with Roderich, Arthur and Elizaveta.

Snatches of their conversation reached me.

"Hey, Gilbert you want one?" Roderich offered him a cigarette.

I saw him reach for it, then he froze. "No" He lowered his arm and looked down.

Roderich took a drag and exhaled. The smoke blew towards me and swirled around me. I coughed and tried not to breath.

Roderich tilted his head. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" The other three chorused at the same time.

Roderich shook his head slowly "Nothing."

I was reluctant to approach Gil when the others were there so I waited.

Soon the other three dispersed and Gil was alone. I walked over to him. I was feeling a little light headed because I hadn't breathed much in the last 15 minutes.

"Gil?" I coughed and accidently took a breath. The smell was even more evident over here. I tried to ignore it as I looked at Gil.

He looked worn and tired. Sick of life. Of being alone. Of being hated. "Matt?"

Matt? What happened to Birdie? His eyes hardened. "Here to let me down again?"

I felt as though I had been slapped. This was not the Gil I knew. The Gil I knew was kinder and one of the only ones who never forgot my name.

"At a loss for words? It's not like anybody could hear you anyway. If you came to ruin my life again, well, I don't want to be hurt again. So piss off, bitch"

Now it felt as if he'd shot me and he may as well have. I don't know about him but I couldn't live without Gil. Without him by my side I may as well not exist.

I felt tears at the corner of my eyes. Gil laughed.

"Does it feel good to get a taste of your own medicine?'

Tears fell down Gil's face but he didn't realise. He shoved past me and kept walking. He never even looked back.

I became aware of the smell of cigarettes and stumbled away from it. As soon as I couldn't smell it anymore I sunk down onto my knees.

"What happened to him?" I whispered.

Birdie had come back. Why? I wanted to be near him but I didn't want to be hurt again. Was it better to be with Birdie and be hurt when he left? Or was it better to stay away from him and not be hurt?

I knew the answer. I hurt every moment I was away from him. I was still afraid though, what if he left again? That was when I became conscious of the tears that fell down my cheeks.

I ignored the pain that I felt and headed to where Roderich, Arthur and Elizaveta would be waiting.

When I arrived there the three were waiting for me. "Hey"

The others waved. "Tonight we're going to rob the convenience store down the road."

The four of us stole out and crept up to the store. The darkness was rapidly descending. We entered the store and Roderich pulled out a knife. He pressed it to the storekeeper's throat.

"Don't move" He whispered. "Get me a beer will you?" He asked his girlfriend Elizaveta. The door opened and we froze in the middle of grabbing things.

"You four again?" The policeman held up a gun and gestured for Roderich to remove the knife.

"Shit!" Roderich swore. There was only one way in and out of here and that was through the door which the policeman barred.

Roderich lowered the knife and stepped out as he raised his hands in the air. "Drop the knife, Roderich"

Yeah, he knew our names. We'd gotten to know this policeman fairly well as he'd arrested us every time we were caught. "Make me" He spat the words out spitefully.

The policeman smiled and pointed the gun at Roderich's shoulder. The knife clattered to the ground immediately. He'd shot Roderich before when he'd tried to run we'd all been to afraid of him after to even attempt to escape.

We were escorted to the police station in the car that was rapidly becoming _extremely _familiar. When the head policeman saw us all she did was sniff and say "Oh. You. Again."

I was escorted to my cell which was now _extremely _familiar. We'd been searched and stripped of everything except our clothes.

My thoughts turned to Birdie as I lay staring at the roof. I wished he was here. Actually I wished I was where he was. I didn't want Birdie to have to sit in a prison.

I heard the cage door being opened. Francis walked in and pulled me up roughly. "Again and again! you seem to live in a prison now!" He shouted at me.

I saw Roderich, Arthur and Elizaveta stood behind him. Roderich had an 'I don't care' expression on but Arthur and Elizaveta looked guilty.

The policeman watched us. "This was the third time. If it happens again you four are going to jail" he told us. Jail? But then I'd never see Birdie again… I gulped and let Francis pull me to the car.

He started driving. As he drove he gave us a lecture. I didn't listen. None of us did.

When I entered my room Birdie sat there. "Is it true? You've been in jail three times now?" He asked.

I sat next to him. "Yeah" I felt Birdie turn to look at me. "Gil?" I looked at him and felt Birdie press his lips to mine. I'd missed Birdie.

It was over all to soon. "Gil, did you miss me?" Birdie asked. "Yes" I whispered.

I wrapped my arms around Birdie and pulled him down so he lay next to me. "Good night" I whispered in his ear.

**So ends that chappy. I'm sorry their was no humor ^_^ I'll try to add some next chappy ^_^ **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi. Did you know its easier to concentrate when you listen to Japanese songs? But you get more ideas from listening to English songs… That's my opinion anyway ^_^ and mixing minties and lemonade is a _really _bad idea… Urk…**

I woke up with my arms wrapped around Birdie. It was almost like a dream. I had to pinch myself to make sure it _wasn't _a dream.

Birdie stirred "Gil?" He blinked and buried his face in my chest. "I'm never leaving again. Never, never, _never_."

I smiled and stroked his hair. "Good"

The door burst open. "Gilbert we're supposed to be-"

Arthur stared at us. "What? I don't understand the current situation…" He looked confused. Very confused.

"Okayyyyy…" He backed out and closed the door. I could hear his rapidly retreating footsteps.

I giggled. I couldn't help it, his face! It looked so startled and confused! I'd never seen him like that. He was always in charge, calm and collected.

"Oh, Birdie we have an excursion today. You coming?" I asked as I slid into my shorts. I once again pictured his face and snickered. It _was_ amusing.

"Um, right…" Birdie looked as reluctant to leave as I felt. He walked out of the room and we met outside a couple of minutes later.

We hurried to grab breakfast and rushed to the bus. We got in last and almost all the seats were taken. The front half of the bus were claimed by Roderich, his crew and the 'popular kids', The back seats were claimed by my un awesome bruder and his crew.

"Hey! Bruder! Come sit with us!" Ludwig called. I was stunned for a moment. "What?" I blinked and stared. "Come sit here!" He pointed to the seats in the middle of their 'group'.

"Gilbert! Matthieu! get in some seats!" Francis called. I hurried towards my bruder and slid into the seats. I was still in shock. My un awesome bruder who hated me had actually asked me to sit with their 'group'.

The bus pulled out, it was going to be a 40 minute trip. Birdie yawned and leant his head on my shoulder. I subconsciously stroked Birdie's hair as I stared out the window. I was aware of talking in the background, but I ignored it.

The noise level had risen a _lot _since the beginning of the trip. Then the bus driver's voice boomed over the speaker.

"This is a charter, _not_ a school bus. I will report you to the principal if you do not _quieten down_. If you want to be treated as _adults _not kids, then act like adults and be quiet!"

After that their wasn't much noise. Frankly that bus driver had given us all a scare.

When we arrived everyone rushed to be the first one off the bus and away from that driver.

"Scary…" Yao whispered.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol scary? Kolkol that was nothing Kolkolkolkol…" Ivan smiled creepily and I gulped.

After that I was extremely paranoid and thought I saw blood everywhere…

We were allowed to go off in groups as long as they contained more than three people. Which meant we were forced to go with my un awesome bruder.

The nine of us strolled around the fairground. Birdie and I went on the ferries wheel.

Their was a frightening moment at lunch when Ivan had brought a hotdog and had put tomato sauce on it. I didn't know this however and just heard him koling and saw blood smeared over his face (tomato sauce) and I completely freaked out. Then I saw the hotdog and felt guilty to have thought Ivan would do that kind of stuff…

It was getting near dark and we sat on the bus as it drove us back to school. "Hey, bruder, we're hitting the clubs after this. You wanna come?" My bruder asked.

I was about to say no when Birdie piped up. "That sounds like fun!" Well, if Birdie wanted to I would, anything for Birdie.

"What do you think Gil?" Birdie asked, looking at me with his clear amethyst eyes "Yeah, sure" I smiled. The bus pulled to a stop and the nine of us got out.

We arrived at the club at around eight o'clock at night. "Dude, we are like _so _gonna be busted for being out this late! But never fear! The hero will save you!" Alfred yelled as he pumped his fist in the sky.

I stared at him. "And he's your brother!?" I asked startled.

Alfred was everything his brother was not, loud, likes attention, has to be in the spotlight kind of person.

Birdie nodded "yeah, he's my brother, sadly" Alfred rushed into the club proclaiming 'every woman will fall for my charms' I stared after him.

"Your _brother_? Seriously? _Brother_!?" I asked as I stared in shock after him. "_Brother_!?" I muttered to myself "his _brother_!?" I murmured.

"What are you saying Gil?" Birdie asked me.

"Nothing" I smiled. "_Brother_?" I muttered to myself (again, I know).

"Time to par-tay!" Alfred yelled.

It must have been hours. The music was firmly implanted into my mind. The music boomed and boomed around the room. All of us had had too many drinks. We now danced mindlessly on the dance floor.

"I love you Birdie!" I yelled over the noise. We were dancing and Birdie tripped, he landed on top of me and we started laughing drunkenly. "Love you too Gil!" He slurred.

"I need some air. I'll be back in a sec" Birdie staggered up and headed for the door. I picked my self up and started swaying to the beat. The music pounded through my skull.

I don't know how long it'd been but I realised Birdie wasn't there. I staggered outside and looked for him.

I staggered outside for some air. "Man, it was suffocating in there" I slurred to myself. My common sense must have evaded me because I chose to head down the dark alley that ran next to the club.

I staggered on, and blessedly the air cleared. "Well, well, what do we have here? A lost little kitty?" A voice purred as I felt a hand stroke my hair.

Out of the shadows emerged three men. I couldn't see them but I knew they didn't mean well. I backed away but one of them caught me by the arm.

"Don't go kitty, play times not over." He smiled nastily and I shivered.

At that point it went kind of hazy and I just remember being thrown back and fourth, punched, kicked, broken… Then, mercifully it stopped.

I let myself fade out of consciousness "Birdie? Birdie? Wake up" I woke to Gil looking over me and I could see the rest of our 'group' standing around. I also saw an ambulance.

I remember being lifted onto a stretcher "Gil, Gil, don't leave" I murmured as I was lifted. I knew Gil came with me but that was it. My memory stopped there.

**Well, there we go. This chapter ends. I have learnt several things today. The prime one being:**

**I suck at mariokart **

**That incident with the bus actually happened. It gave me quite a scare. Cuz it was _loud_! Sadly I wasn't stroking Canada's hair… sadly… **


	6. Chapter 6

**Heyo! Again! New chappy! If I can come up with ideas and concentrate… ^_^ Also, Birdie is called Birdie because Gilbert calls any one he likes Birdie… I'm fairly sure that's why, but i'm not positive... I think this will be my last chappy...**

_He sat in the hospital every time he could, holding the patient's hand._

"Birdie. How much longer will you be in here?" I asked him. I hated myself. How could I let Birdie become like this?

"Not long, Gil. Don't feel guilty, it isn't your fault" Birdie whispered.

I started, Birdie always knew how I felt. "I know, but… I still feel guilty"

Birdie smiled at me. "I love you Gil" I smiled, I never wanted to let go of this hand.

"Love you too" and I meant it, I truly did. I leant forward and brushed Birdie's lips with mine.

"Visitors hour is over!" called my least favourite nurse, he was a guy and didn't approve of me and Birdie.

"Gays" he sniffed as I walked past. In a sudden motion I had him pinned to the wall, holding him by the collar. "Got a problem?" I snarled, "Gil! Let go!" Birdie rasped.

I glanced at Birdie and reluctantly let go. I 'accidently' kicked him. "What does it matter who you love? As long as you love them isn't that all that matters?" I murmured quietly.

He looked down and didn't meet my eyes. I left and went home, to the boarding school. The day passed and I missed Birdie as much, if not more, as usual. Without him I was nothing, I didn't exist.

I rushed to the hospital as soon as possible and went to talk to Birdie, the nurse was there. I ignored him. "Birdie, I promise we'll be together forever. Because I can't live without you, I love you" I told him, I felt like I had to say it.

Birdie's lips parted in surprise and he looked at me. "Neither can I, lets live the rest of our life forever" he told me.

I heard a choked sob and looked around curiously, the nurse had his hand covering his mouth and their were tears in his eyes. He turned around and rushed out of the room. "What?" I murmured, I was definitely looking into that later.

"Visitors hour is over" the nurse, Toris murmured. I heard the pain in his voice.

On my way out I murmured "could we talk?"

"Sure" He murmured. "What was that about!?" I asked. "What was what about?"

"Why did you cry when I told Birdie that I loved him and I'd stay with him forever?"

There was silence then, "I didn't" I knew he was lying.

"Yes you did. Why?"

He looked at the ground. "O-once I was like you and Birdie…" It was obviously painful for him to tell me.

"Me, a-and my boyfriend, Feliks, w-we were like that… We promised to stay together, forever… That was last year, then he was on a plane and it crashed… he was barely alive when I got to the hospital… A-and he died the day after I got there… He told me he'd been holding on to see me… But that he couldn't hold on any longer… I asked him to try, to try and stay alive… But he died… I feel like it was my fault…" Toris whispered as tears pricked his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault" I murmured, feeling sorry for him.

"I argued and argued, he'd be in Poland for his birthday and I couldn't come, I wanted him to spend his birthday with me, but I gave in and told him to go… I wish I'd been on the plane instead of him…"

"And let him feel the pain you're feeling now?" I asked.

"Well, when you put it like that…" He murmured and smiled slightly through his tears.

I left, feeling sorry for Toris. The pain would be hard to live through… I admired him for living through it.

I spent the entire next day pondering what it'd be like without Birdie. I almost ended up crying…

I rushed to the hospital as soon as I could, skipping the last period. When I got there Toris let me in early. I spent most of the afternoon talking to Toris and Birdie.

"we'll be clos-do you smell that?" Toris asked.

"yeah, smells like… Smoke!" I jumped up and ran to the corridor as the fire alarms went off, with a screeching sound. I grabbed Birdie and carried him bridal style and rushed out side.

Toris grabbed more patients and rushed after me. We spent almost twenty minutes getting more patients out.

Toris and I rushed in again, our noses covered with wet handkerchiefs "Is their any body left?" I called "I think that's it… Wait! The children! Nobody brought the children!"

We rushed towards the Children and started herding them out. We went back for the last few and we were ushering them out when a burning piece of wood fell, it was going to hit some of the children! I didn't think, I jumped under and pushed them towards Toris.

"Get them out!" I called, Toris nodded and got them out. I got hit by the wood and I felt the fire creep up my arm "Shit! Shit!" I ran outside and got it under some water.

Afterwards we watched the Hospital collapse, the fire-fighters managed to save one half of it. "Birdie's probably alright to go back home now, your burns aren't bad so wash it and put some ice on it and come back tomorrow morning, when I can take care of it… Oh, and thanks for your help."

"It's alright, see you, Toris"

We went back and I did as Toris said, Birdie helped. I wrapped Birdie in my arms and we went to sleep together.

In the morning I went back as instructed. I saw Toris and waved him over. "Busy?" I asked "Yeah…" he took care of it and told me I was free to go.

Birdie and I decided to ditch and went on a picnic. I was trying to catch grapes in my mouth, so was Birdie. So far he'd caught more than me. Then we ate cherries and tried to knot the green sticks in our mouth using our tongues.

Birdie poked his tongue out and I saw a neatly knotted cherry stick. I spat mine out "No fair…" I muttered. "You know, Gil if you can knot it with your tongue it means you're a good kisser" Birdie informed me as he surveyed his knot.

"Oh yeah? You wanna bet?" I asked. Birdie lunged for me and pelted me with grapes and cherries. "Heyyyy!" I said, laughing. Birdie collapsed on me, we were both laughing.

It was over all too soon. "Gil, I have to go to Canada for a couple of days, but I'll be back soon." Birdie told me.

"Can I come?" I asked. "No, sorry I have to catch the plane and didn't book you a ticket"

"Promise you'll come back as soon as you can?" I asked as I tickled him with a feather "I promise" Birdie left the next day.

I was sitting in class waiting for Francis and pondering what Birdie would be doing on the plane, when the door opened. Francis walked in, he looked shocked and his normally cheerful face looked white and pale.

"Mattheiu is… is dead" The room fell silent. I felt as though I wasn't there, that I was looking down at myself. I felt the colour rush out of my face. "Birdie's… Dead?" It felt surreal somehow, like it hadn't happened.

It happened in a blur after that, their was a funeral. I didn't cry at first, it was all to surreal, they had left the coffin lid open, Birdie looked as though he was sleeping. That was when I broke down and started crying. Toris tried to comfort me, to no avail.

It turned out he'd been driving and someone had crashed into him. The driver that crashed was still alive, it was unfair, birdie was the one who should be alive, and the driver should be dead. He'd died on the 16th of October.

I decided to forget about Birdie, it was too painful to live with, I erased all my memories of him.

10 years later

It was the 16th of October and I woke, crying. I didn't know why. There was something I should remember, all I knew was that it was too painful to remember.

I sat in a field of flowers as the storm raged around me. I twirled a flower in my fingers and stared at the sky. The storm raged overhead and the water mixed with my tears, as if it was crying with me. Tell me, though it's still blank, why do tears roll down?

Where is the reason for the pain I can't get rid of?

_Don't remember me._


End file.
